First round of Barcelona photos (+ a few randoms in Paris)

Checking out the routes

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"This place is freaking awesome!"

Bad hair, don't care

Pretty sure this puppy looked right into my soul

Last morning in Margalef, saying our sleepy goodbyes and waiting for the "grocery" market to open

Rock giants

Doesn't come close to capturing the beauty of the place

Good Morning, Barcelona! (from the roof of Chris' apt building off La Rambla)

Snow in Paris the day after my return from 65 degree, sunny Spain)

Home-made heuvos rancheros in Barcelona -- their produce is sooo much better (and cheaper) than I get in Paris!  And they have black beans and quesa fresco!

Chris working hard on a training plan for his friend Jasna (a fellow UC Davis Aggie), helped by a 3 euro liter of the excellent local Margalef wine straight from the barrel

Good Morning, Margalef (taken from the balcony of the hostel)

Peugot Fully-Loaded!

Across the street from our hostel

The Boqueria on La Rambla in Barcelona

Home-made chicken tacos and wine for me and Chris in Barcelona!

Priorities on my first day

Another Good Morning in Margalef from the hostel

Goodbye, Margalef!

More Spring snow in Paris (in my apt's courtyard)

Barcelona Boqueria

On my walk home from work at midnight last week, I love the quietness after a snow-fall

It's officially the first day of Spring here in Paris, but it's as dreary as can be and looks to be that way for at least the next week...  I'm dying for some sun right about now, but should count myself lucky that at least it's not raining, snowing, or freezing.

Love you all xoxo

Hola from Barcelona!

Tuesday, March 5

5:30PM

La Rambla, Barcelona

So a lot has happened since the last time I posted!  As most of you probably already know (I can't seem to stop talking about it), through a storke of amazing luck, I found an apartment in the center of Paris where I'll be living for the rest of my time here.  I happened to see a post in the TAPIF facebook group about an open room in an apartment in the 6th arrondissement on rue de l'Odeon (which happens to be a 3 minute walk from The Moose).  It also happened to be a great deal and so long story short, I now share a great little apartment on the 6th floor of a beautiful old building in the heart of Paris, smack in between Luxembourg Garden and bd. Saint-Germain.  My roommate is another girl in the teaching program, Jovanni, who happens to be from Bakersfield, CA!  I love living with another chill Californian.  I have my own private, fully-furnished loft bedroom with a (relatively) huge double bed and skylight window, accessible by an (only slightly sketchy) wooden ladder/staircase that I hope to God I never fall down.  Jovanni sleeps on the pull-out couch in the living room.  The apartment is small by American standards, but by Parisian standards it's quite nice, especially for the price and the location.

Yesterday was the first real warm (almost 60 degrees), sunny day of Spring and it made me ridiculously happy.  I woke up late, took a leisurely stroll to Luxembourg Garden where I sat in the sun and read for a while, then walked a few blocks to the Frank Provost on bd. Saint-Michel where I got my hair trimmed (thank god, I'd been cutting it myself for the past 6 months and I was all sorts of uneven).  I'd like to grow my hair out again, so I kept the length but got a bit more shape, since my haircut had been looking like a mix between an afro and a bowl cut recently (ugh).  I'm very happy with the result (and the price tag, only 32 euro!)  Apparently my barber is going to come visit me at The Moose sometime, too.  Hmm...

After my haircut I decided I needed some more time in the precious sun, so I walked down to bd. Saint-Germain and found a cafe with an open table facing the sun where I had a delicious cafe gourmand (espresso, apricot tart, and chocolate mousse), read, and people-watched.  I stayed until the sun disappeared behind the Parisian skyline, then ran a few errands and relaxed at my apartment for a while before heading back out to Luxembourg garden to meet up with Jill and her friend Daniel, who is visiting from New York.  We took a walk through the garden and up to the Pantheon in the setting sun, and stopped by Hemingway's old hang-out, The Polidor.  Then we headed back to my apartment to share a bottle of Cotes du Rhone and chat for a while.

This morning I woke up at 7am, showered, and threw some things into a suitcase before walking to Luxembourg to hop on the RER B to the airport for my flight to Barcelona!  Got to the airport with plenty of time to spare, and somehow got hooked up with a "Speedy Boarding" pass from a friendly EasyJet ticket agent (which didn't end up counting for much as it just ensured that I'd be in the front of the line waiting in the causeway to get on the plane.  Side note:  This is something else I don't understand about France, they make everyone wait in the cold walkway to board the plane instead of just waiting until the plane's actually ready before starting the boarding process.  Makes no sense, especially because everyone knows the way to really enrage a Parisian is to make them wait in a line!)

We landed in Barcelona around 1pm, where we were greeted by clouds and a balmy breeze.  It's still warmer then it's been in Paris since the fall, though, and the humidity is a welcome respite from the hand-chafing dry Parisian air.  It looks like we'll have tropical rain for the next couple days in Barcelona, but this weekend looks partly sunny and it's supposed to get up to almost 70 degrees!  Heaven!  (I will be breaking out my shorts and I've already decided that one of my purchases here will be some bright Havanas flip-flops!  And no, March is not too soon.)

I've been hanging out in Starbucks on la Rambla all day, waiting to go meet Chris at his apartment after he gets back from class.  I used the time to do some research on things I want to see in Barcelona this time, including lots of cool Gaudi architecture (the Sagrada Familia for one), some good cheap eats, museums, gardens, and a couple cool vintage stores and markets.  I'm also planning to spend some time on the beach and lots of time just wandering around, which is my personal favorite way to discover a city.  I'm not one for over-scheduling my days with sight-seeing, as I have a pretty limited tolerance for being bumped into by tourists and looking at churches.

I got a timely reminder about pick-pockets in Barcelona when the Japanese couple across from me had a bag stolen off a chair about an hour ago.  I didn't see it happen, even though I was sitting a few feet away, but apparently a guy came in, asked them for the time, and swiped the woman's bag off the chair without anyone noticing.  Thankfully, she realized it was gone about 2 minutes later, and the police came and took a report, but I couldn't help but think it was probably pretty hopeless when they were giving the thief's description.  Medium height and build, brown hair, wearing jeans and a dark jacket, that looks like every other guy walking around out on La Rambla right now, and I'm sure the guy got out of the area pretty fast after he'd done the deed.  I'm watching my suitcase and bag like a hawk now!  Better to look paranoid then to lose your stuff...

Anyway, it's almost time to go meet Chris, and it just started raining (lovely!)  I'm really hoping the weather does get better later this week, because we're supposed to go on a climbing trip this weekend.  I'll try to update again soon!

xoxo Kelly

New Parisian Apartment!

Photos of my new apartment on rue de l'Odeon in the 6th arrondissment :)

Makeshift kitchen

Living room that doubles at Jovanni's bedroom! (pull-out couch)

Front door

Sketchy stairs to my loft bedroom!

Living room with awesome old desk

My view from bed (double bed!!!  so happy!!!)

Courtyard

View from the courtyard towards the entrance to the building

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Cool skylight/window that opens and has a built-in sliding sun shade!

more courtyard

My adorable mother!

BIG BEDDDDDD AHHHH

Kitchen sink!

You can see the Luxembourg Garden from our kitchen window (if you stick your head out and look right :))

6 flights of these suckers

Plant life in the courtyard

Le choc culturel

It's Sunday evening and instead of watching [yet another] Ryan Gosling movie online, I decided to write about something that I've been thinking a lot about ever since I arrived in France.  Hopefully I will be able to form my thoughts into coherent syntax, but I apologize in advance is what I'm about to write makes no sense (or is already plainly obvious).

Before moving to France, I never gave the term "culture shock" much merit.  Whenever I heard people talk about having experienced culture shock, I found myself instantly judging them.  For some reason, I tended to assume that they were simply narrow-minded "fuddy-duddy" Americans (for lack of a better term), who couldn't handle new environments and ways of living.  I also (naively) assumed that "culture shock" was just a way of "other-ing" another culture -- writing it off it as strange and somehow inferior to "American culture".  (I put "American culture" in quotations because I'm not sure there is just one culture in America, but rather a melange of a bunch of different cultures depending on the part of the country you're in.)

It also took me a while to recognize that the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing were "typical" symptoms of culture shock, because I (wrongly) assumed that:

A. French culture wouldn't be that much different than what I'm used to back in California and
B. I would be able to seamlessly assimilate to life in Paris because I am endlessly open-minded, flexible, observant, and graceful -- a human chameleon, if you will.  (Yeah, right.)

While I may blend into the crowd on the streets of Paris now (helped by some key new additions to my wardrobe -- I am now the proud owner of the middle-class, 20-something Parisian "uniform", in essence), I still feel, 5 months later, like an outsider in many respects.  But honestly?  I like it that way.  Let me explain.

Culture shock is defined as: "The feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes", or more simply as "anxiety in an unfamiliar culture".  I experience culture shock daily in a myriad of ways.  There are, of course, the more obvious differences: people speak French instead of English, dinner isn't served before 8pm, everything is way too expensive, and everyone wears really uncomfortable, impractical (but stylish) footwear.  That stuff doesn't really bother me anymore (well, except maybe the footwear thing because I just wanna wear my sneakers, goddammit).  What I wasn't expecting is that I would be so profoundly affected by some of the more subtle cultural differences.  These differences still bother me today, and they make staying in Paris long-term much less appealing.

I'll try to explain what I'm talking about.  I'll use the metro as my first example, because I'm pretty sure half my life here is spent on some form of public transportation.  (Disclaimer, I'm about the generalize the shit out of Parisians and I apologize.  I know tons of very nice Parisians, but this is what I see in my every day life and I'm not going to sugar-coat it.)

On the metro (and generally everywhere else in Paris), people do not give a shit about the people around them.  Everyone crowds the doors and tries to board the train while people are trying to get off, people will bump you, trample on your feet, and push you into a corner just trying to get a spot on the train.  People do not understand the concept of personal space (maybe because everyone lives practically on top of each other in Paris, but still).  Men sitting across from me have, on more than one occasion, spread their legs open wide around mine and slouched down in their seat far enough that their knees were practically touching my seat, my legs trapped by theirs while my knees are dangerously close to their...  you know.  Gross.

People will smoke weed and cigarettes on the train, couples will fight, make up, and then make out on the train, people will fist-fight on the train, and worst of all, people will stare at you on the train.  And when I say they will stare at you, I mean that they will stare at you, even after you've met their eyes and they know that you know that they are staring at you.  They will continue to stare at you for as long as they damn well please, and then they will pick someone else to stare at.

On the sidewalk in Paris, everyone seems to walk to blinders on.  Parisians pretty much refuse to move out of the way for each other, and people will literally walk directly into you rather than change their trajectory.  They have somewhere to go and they do not care that you are also a human being with somewhere to go.

Lines.  Parisians don't seem to understand the concept of "faire-ing la queue".  I have had people try to cut me in line at the supermarket, the bakery, the bank, waiting for the bathroom -- in short, anywhere there is a line, Parisians will try to cut you.  They do it without shame, and they feign surprise every time when you call them out on it  ("Oh, this is a line?")  If they are not trying to cut you in line, they will press their bodies up behind yours and whisper "Avancez!  Avanecz!" every time the line moves and your body is not sufficiently glued to the person's in front of you.  Angsty teen-agers, little old ladies, business men -- they will all try to cut you.  Trust no one.

In short, there is a general lack of  respect and compassion for the people around you in Paris that really irks me.  Maybe it's because I come from what is probably the "peace and love" capitol of the world, the SF Bay Area, but it makes me sad (and angry) when a whole city of people seem to be so egotistical, impatient, and hurried all the time.  I just want to tell the whole city of Paris to take a chill pill and "not sweat the small stuff", but I know they wouldn't understand the concept (or why it's important).

Another area of life in France that makes me cringe is the way people talk to each other.  In Paris, if you want something from someone and they don't immediately oblige, your first order of business is to yell at them.  Bullying is engrained into the lifestyle in France, and if you do not instantly stand up for yourself (and in most cases, yell back), they will walk all over you in pursuit of their number one.  I've experienced a lot of this kind of treatment from my bosses in the teaching program and it feels like shit.  I refuse to ever assimilate to this part of Parisian culture.

The term culture "shock" implies that it is a temporary phenomena that will wear off after you've become accustomed to the new culture, so maybe I'm not really experiencing true culture shock anymore.  Maybe I just don't like a lot of things about the culture in Paris.

Enough ranting for now.  Let it be known that I do not hate Paris -- I've met many amazing people here and I try to appreciate the good things that happen every day.  Maybe I'm too sensitive, and that's why the negative stuff weighs heavily on my mind, but oh well, I can't change how I feel.  Paris isn't right for me in the long-term, but I'm grateful for the experience, and I now I can say that I truly appreciate each and every friendly, kind, respectful person that I meet.

Getting there!

- 2 weeks until winter break
- 2.5 weeks until I'm in Barcelona on vacay
- 8 weeks of teaching left
- 9 weeks until I move into a swanky vacation rental with my parents next to the Louvre in Paris
- 10.5 weeks until my best friends come to Paris and we start our epic Euro-Tour

The sun is shining, there's no rain forecast for the next week, and the temperature is expected to reach 50 degrees soon!

Feeling very positive today :)

Bisous a tous!

Part Deux!

Finally getting around to finishing up my last post, or maybe this is just a new post altogether? 

Anyway, I was greeted by rain, wind, and freezing temperatures at CDG airport on my return from (sunny) Barcelona, and to top it off, the RER B wasn't running at all that night, so after walking through the entire airport to get the train, I joined the herd of people standing outside the terminal in the rain waiting for the buses to take us into Paris.  In usual Parisian style, the whole crowd (maybe 100 people) made a mad rush at the first bus when it arrived, oblivious to the fact that there were 3 buses following it.  This aspect of Parisian culture drives me UP THE WALL, but I guess the good thing is that it ends up pushing me in the opposite direction -- I feel the need to be excessively friendly and patient just to set a good example.

I made it onto a bus eventually, and even though it was supposed to make several stops, the driver ended up kicking us all off at Gare de L'Est (also a very Parisian occurrence, timetables and promised stops be damned).  I hustled it onto the metro and was able to catch the LAST RER A train of the night back to Saint-Germain-en-Laye, which was basically a miracle.  (If I had missed the last train from Chatelet, I would've had to get back on the metro to go to Gare Saint-Lazare, and from there I would have taken the night bus back to Saint-Germain, but as it only comes once/hour and takes an hour to get me home, I would not have been a happy camper.  I made it home by around 1:30am and then it was back to the teaching grind the next day!

Here's three (semi-notable?) things that have happened since then:

1) I found a great little yoga studio 10 minutes away from my apartment in St-G and splurged on a 10-class student pass for 150 euro.  (Yes, the STUDENT rate is still over $20/class.)  Thank you date-less UC Davis student ID!  I've missed yoga so much since I left California and it feels amazing to "get back in touch" with my body in that way again.  Also, my ass is out of shape!

2) I made the 1.5 hr trip out to Antre Bloc climbing gym in Villejuif.  I paid 12 euro for a day pass, checked out the place, and did some bouldering.  It's too far a trek to justify getting a membership, but I'm hoping to get a climber partner and go once every week or so.  It's an okay spot, but it's nothing compared to the beautiful Touchstone gyms I've used to back in the bay.  (Not to mention I had 5 different gyms to choose from and free classes for $60/month!)  I'm going to waste no time renewing my membership once I'm back in California this summer!  (Like, I might go on the way back from the airport...)

3) I had my first really scary experience in Paris.  (I'll preface this story by saying that I'm completely fine, nothing to worry about, Mom!)  I was out having dinner and drinks with a couple TAPIF friends at a nice bistrot on Rue des Dames, which is in the 18th arrondissement near Place de Clichy.  (Think the Moulin Rouge/Pigalle, but a super-trendy side street far away from the strip club area.)  I went outside to make a phone call around 9:30pm, and I had just hung up the phone when two guys around my age came up to me out of nowhere.  One of the guys started talking to me, asking me for a cigarette and kind of backing me against the wall.  Then his friend (who looked pretty wasted), grabbed me by the back of my neck and forced my face toward his, trying to kiss me.  After about a second and a half of pure shock, I pushed him off me and told him and his friends to "Fuck off" (in English and French, just to cover my bases).  Then the bartender came outside and the two guys ran off down the street.  The one who'd tried to kiss me ended up knocking over a bunch of tables and rolling down the street a ways. 

The whole experience definitely shook me, because I've never been so forcefully, physically harassed before.  Just as a warning to any women living in Paris who read this -- be wary about walking by yourself around Place de Clichy and the other "sketchy" areas of Paris after dark, even in busy areas.  I've always scoffed at people who warn me about the dangers of Paris, and I tend to walk wherever I want, whenever I want, but this experience has made me realize that maybe a little more caution is in order!



Other than that, I'm sick with another cold (surprised it took a month and a half!), but thankfully I get to sleep in tomorrow morning because of "la greve".  (There is a big teacher's strike happening tomorrow in Paris and one of my schools is closed.)  So I don't have to go to work until 1pm and I'm not at all upset about it!  Then I'll be heading directly to Paris for a 6-11pm serving shift at the Moose.

Cross your fingers I can kick this cold soon!  3 weeks until I'm back in beautiful Barcelona for a week of vacation!  :)  (And only 8 more days of teaching til then!)

Namaste y'all.

xoxo

Soleil pour la santé

Hello everyone!

Time for an update on my day off!  So the last week of January I took a week off work from the Moose and visited London and Barcelona.  It was a crazy week because I obviously couldn't skip any of my classes so I had to fit in traveling around my teaching schedule.  I taught Monday and Tuesday, then went directly to Paris Gare du Nord after my last class on Tuesday afternoon to catch the Eurostar to London!  The Eurostar is in a little upstairs section of Gare du Nord that I'd never been to before, complete with British border control agents and an x-ray scanner.  For some reason I hadn't expected anyone to care that I was visiting the UK for 2 days, but I ended up having to fill out an immigration card and I was questioned by a border control agent as to the "nature of my trip" (to have fun?)  I also had to provide the address of the place I was staying and who I was visiting, etc.  The Eurostar "lounge" is a little like a miniature airport terminal, with "duty-free" shops and overpriced food.  Once the "gate" opens, everyone gets onto these funny moving walkways that lead down to the train platform, and then you have to find your train car with your assigned seat.  The Eurostar was definitely the longest train I have ever seen in my life -- I overheard someone saying it has the capacity of four 747's, but I'm not sure if that's really true -- in any case, it took me 10 minutes to walk all the way to the first car where my seat was.

The trip itself took a little over 2 hours, and the train was great -- smooth, quiet, fast -- pretty much the polar opposite of the train transportation I take most days in and around Paris.  It was really strange (and awesome) sitting on the train surrounded by Brits after being surrounded by Parisians on the trains for the past month.  One of the things that's interesting about living in a country where the language is not your "langue maternelle" is that it's a lot harder to overhear other people's conversations.  It depends on the person and the accent, but if I want to understand someone's conversation in French on the train a couple seats away from me, I actually have to make a conscious effort to focus on what they're saying, whereas if they were speaking English I'd be listening in on their conversation whether I wanted to or not!  I spent a lot of the train ride listening to the conversation between two British men sitting across the aisle from me, and I must say, I could listen to that accent all day long!  Also, not trying to diss Americans, but Brits really do have a better vocabulary than most Americans I've met!

Anyway, we arrived at London St-Pancras International station, and from there I had an easy connection to the London Underground (the tube!)  Compared to the Paris metro it was incredibly easy to navigate, and I took the Circle Line to Tower Gate and then transferred to the DLR (light rail) with no problems!  The Aloft hotel where my friend will was staying for his conference was right by the Excel center, steps from the DLR station in the southern docks area, about 45 minutes outside the center of London.  I'd been up since 6am, so a hot shower and a few glasses of wine at the hotel bar was pretty much my idea of a perfect night.

The next day Will had to work for most of the day, so I set off to London in the morning by myself to do some touristy exploring.  It was incredibly windy in London, which made walking around a little less enjoyable, but London is a beautiful city and I made the best of it!  I took the tube to Westminster, then got off and walked past the London Eye, Big Ben, and Westminster Abbey, then walked down the length of King's Park to Buckingham Palace (where I'd missed the changing of the guard by 20 minutes!  Oh well, next time...)  Then I walked back downtown and explored the Charring Cross area (National Portrait Gallery, etc.) and had lunch at a little (French...) cafe right off Charring Cross Road.  Then I took myself to go see the Silver Linings Playbook at a movie theater by Piccadilly, and thoroughly enjoyed not having those annoying French subtitles on the screen!  Great movie, btw..  funny, sad, and a little off-kilter, my favorite!

After the movie I took the tube up to the top of the Soho area for a celebratory dinner with Will and his co-workers and boss at an AMAZING Thai restaurant (think spicy scallops, 2 kinds of lobster in curry sauces, and ginger-pear spiced daiquiris)...  definitely the best food I've had in a long time!  Afterwards we went to a pub so the boys could do some Fireball shots (which I declined...  I've had enough Fireball "whiskey" in my time as a bartender) and a few beers before making the train journey back to the hotel.

The next day Will had to catch a flight to Berlin in the early afternoon, so we just had time for a traditional English breakfast/lunch at a pub called The Fox by the hotel.  Now I can say that I've had real British "bangers and mash" (sausages and mashed potatoes) and fish and chips (with a side of beans)!  It was delicious and went great with out barely-noon pints of amber ale :P  Then I set off back to St-Pancras for my train back to Paris (and had a 3 hour wait in which I ate way too many croissants and drank far too much coffee). 

I got back to my apartment around 11pm that night and then got up the next morning to go teach my 8:30am class, re-packed my bag for Barcelona during my lunch break, then set off directly to the airport for my flight to Barcelona after my afternoon classes.  I made it to CDG with plenty of time (I can thank the RER gods for working with me this ONE time), and landed in Barcelona around 9pm that night.  A 20-min bus ride and I was in central Barcelona, where my friends from high school Chris Jorde and Chris Chapman met me at Placa Catalunya.  They live in the center of one of the busiest and most beautiful areas in Barcelona, 10 minutes walking from the beach and the gothic area.  Chapman is a great chef and he had an amazing dinner waiting at their apartment, along with a couple bottles of great Spanish red.

The next day after some eggs and espresso, we set off around 9am to go climbing!  We took the metro about 45 minutes to the beautiful town of Gelida in the Spanish countryside, then hiked another 45 minutes uphill through the town and eventually through the forest above to the rock wall.  (We stopped along the way to have pastries, coffee, and hot chocolate at a little Spanish cafe.  And let me be clear, when I say hot chocolate, I mean large cups of pure, thick, molten dark chocolate...)  It was an incredible sunny day around 60 degrees, and I was in heaven feeling the sun on my skin again.  It ended up being pretty windy, but who cares.  I couldn't have asked for a better day.  For those interested in climbing, here's link to a map of the routes:

http://climbingaway.fr/en/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=3&Itemid=4&recherche=1941

I hadn't climbed since I left California in September, so I got tired pretty quickly, but I managed to do 3 great climbs and got halfway up the last, most physical climb, before my arms completely gave out and I had to call it a day.  Climbing again (and outdoors!) was fantastic and made it miss it more than ever.  Around 5pm we made the trip back to Barcelona (with another stop at the bakery for good measure), showered, and then went out for some tapas, beer, more tapas, more beer, great gin & tonics, and some absinthe to finish off the night.  It was a great night, but I must say by 4am I was pretty damn tired and just wanted to get back to the apartment and pass out.

The next day we all woke up around noon headed down toward the beach, where we stopped by Chapman's favorite churro stand for dulce-de-leche and dark-chocolate covered churro "appetizers" before a 2pm brunch at Milk, where Chris and I had huge Spanish-style "fry-ups", complete with eggs, bacon, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, potatoes, and toast and Champan had a delectable-looking eggs Florentine.

Refueled, we took a walk through the beautiful Gothic quarter and then set out for Park Guell, where, after a bit of a climb, we got to see the most fantastic view of Barcelona and the ocean beyond.  After exploring the park, we headed back to the apartment so I could get my stuff and catch the bus back to the airport for my 9pm flight back to Paris.  I can say that Barcelona has by far been the favorite place I've visited so far, and I've actually already booked a flight back for March 5 during my two-week winter vacation.  I can't wait to be back and have more time to explore the city and climb with Chris!

I'll write Part 2 of this blog later and post some photos -- it's time for yoga class!

xoxo

3am

So I am back in my little dorm room in France after a much-needed 10 days of R&R in the states, and, as you can probably ascertain, it's 3:09am in my corner of the world.  I get what I deserve, though -- I crashed from noon until after 6pm today (after arriving in Paris this morning at 7:30am), and then slept again from 10pm-2:30am, so I'm not really even upset about being wide awake right now.

Given that it's the beginning of a new year, I've been thinking sort of generally about the state of my life and my goals for 2013.  I don't "do" resolutions -- it actually seems like it might be more beneficial to practice a little reverse psychology on ourselves and only resolve to do the things we really shouldn't be doing -- then, we might succeed!  But that's just my opinion, maybe other people have a better track record with resolutions than I.

This year, I'm going to try to be more honest with myself.  I have lots of other more concrete goals of course, but "self-honesty", if you will, is what I'd like to make a priority this year.  (And really, for the rest of my life).  During the past few months, I've found it really helpful to "check in" with myself a lot about how I'm feeling about my life.  Being truly honest with myself has made it easier to focus on the things that are really important to me (because after all, you have to figure out what those things are before you can make them prioirites!)  It's also not helpful to try to "sugarcoat" your life for yourself, or discount your feelings about something because "you have it so much better than some people" and "you should be grateful for what you have".  Those statements may be true, but if you're not acknowledging your true feelings about things, you're in for a load of shit (pardon my French) down the line.

For example, I acknowledge that I do not "love" what I do right now. I like it sometimes, and sometimes it makes me want to pull my hair out, cry into a pillow, and drown my sorrows in pastries and chocolate (although I have to admit, I picked a good country in that respect).  I have good days and bad days, and how I feel about my job(s) changes.  (This is normal, I've figured out.)  Some days at school are great -- I laugh right along with the kids (this is bizarre to them, as their teachers are hard-pressed to crack a smile in class), and the lessons seem to sink in. Sometimes the logic jumps the kids make astound me!  Those are the days I feel like a "real" teacher, and I think the kids are really benefitting from me being there.

Some days at school are shitty.  Sometimes they're really shitty.  There are some days I discipline more than I actually teach, or my lesson plan goes up in flames when the kids completely fail to grasp the concept of whatever I'm trying to teach them (although, to their credit more than mine, this rarely happens for too long).  Sometimes the teachers don't like what I've planned to do, and I can't figure out whether I really have the "right", as a "teaching assistant", to stand up for my lesson plans (even though I'm the only one teaching English, here!)  Sometimes the pricipals on my schools get angry about bureaucratic/silly things that I don't understand, like when I ask for paper to use for the photo-copier...  this one really blows my mind).

Sometimes I'm sick (which is a lot), sometimes I haven't gotten enough sleep because I've been working too much at the bar in Paris, and sometimes I just plain don't feel like teaching.  But, the majority of the time, no matter how I'm feeling before I get to school, the smiles are the kids' faces is enough to remind me that what I'm doing here is worthwhile.

I've also found that (shocker!), things go better when I'm prepared.  So I'm going to try to have all my lesson plans done before the start of each week so that I'm not scrambling before class and I have a more cohesive picture in my head of where I'm going with each lesson.

So even though I try to set myself up to enjoy each day, I know that won't always be the case.  I also have lots of things to look forward to in the next 4 months.  I have a trip to London planned for January 29-31, where I'll be meeting up with my friend Will (who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend, we dated for a year and a half in college).  He'll be there for a conference, and I've never been to London (unless Heathrow airport counts), so I'm really excited to have a couple days to explore!  Two days after I get back from London I'll be flying to Barcelona to spend the weekend with a couple friends from high school who live there now.  One of them is an avid climber, so hopefully I'll be able to get some climbing in on top of exploring Barcelona!  I'm crossing my fingers for good weather :)

I also have a 2 week school vacation in the beginning of March, and I'm going to try to get a full week off from The Moose as well so I can plan a fun trip (hopefully with some of the other teaching assistants!)  I'd love to go spend some time at the beach!  Then my parents arrive on April 19 and I'll move out of my apartment in Saint-Germain and into the studio they've rented in Paris (right next to the Louvre!!!)  I'll have 3 more days of teaching while they're here, but the rest of the time we'll be exploring Paris together.  Then my best friends Natasha and Fiona arrive on April 29th, and we'll spend 5 days in Paris before embarking on an 8-week European tour, concluding in Dublin where we'll catch a flight back to San Francisco through London!

I have 14 weeks of teaching left, and a total of 42 teaching days, which really isn't that much in the bigger picture.  And I have so many amazing things to look forward to during that time and afterwards.  I'm pretty damn lucky to have the life that I do and all the opportunities this experience has provided me with :)

In the short term, I'm going to visit some climbing gyms, and hopefully find a membership that will work with my schedule. The only problem is that the better gyms are pretty far away from where I live, so I'm also going to join a gym or yoga studio here in Saint-Germain for the days when I don't have enough time to make it to the climbing gym.  Yoga and climbing are activities I've missed SO much since I arrived in France, and I finally have the money to get them into my life again!

I'm also looking forward to doing some more exploring in Paris with my TAPIF friends, because I've barely skimmed the surface when it comes to seeing the city!  I haven't even been to the Louvre yet (le gasp).  I'll also try to get better about taking pictures.

In the much shorter term, I'm currently looking forward to going grocery shopping once my Simply market opens...  The contents of my kitchen currently are as follows: hummus, salsa, butter, sugar, salad dressing, and instant oatmeal.  I had oatmeal for "lunch" and "dinner" yesterday and don't think I can stomach it for breakfast again in the morning!  I did bring a little of the holidays back with me though, and for a snack tonight I made myself some brittle with some mixed nuts I had left over... yum! :)  I am definitely going to miss big American kitchens for the next 6 months, I did a ton of cooking over break and really enjoyed it.

Anyway, it's after 4am and that's enough bloggin' for now.  My suitcase is looking like it'd really like to be unpacked... but I think some Project Runway Allstars is in order right now.

Love to my friends and family back in California and my grandparents in Tennessee, miss you all like crazy!